I recently reinstalled Yahoo Messenger on my computer so that I could communicate on a semi-regular basis with my friend Allan down in California. Since I’ve done that, I’ve been randomly messaged by various people. Just for fun, I talk to some of them to see if I can trip them up in a lie. Yes, I said lie. Invariably, these people are looking for "friends" to chat with, get to know, then try to invite themselves to where you are to "meet". Gee, sounds like a great idea for lonely computer nerds. Without fail, they also try to exchange pictures with you. When they see my pic, they’re all, "Hey, looking the good" (that is not a typo). Their picture is usually model-quality girls from what appears to be a professional photo shoot.
The latest one happened just yesterday. I was bored and sitting at the computer, so decided to play. She said her name was Susan Whitney and she lived in Zama, Alberta. She saw my profile pic and she sent me hers (beautiful, blonde, very professional photo). I had lived in Alberta for 3 years and had never heard of Zama. She said it was close to Iowa. Hmmm… that was one of the first clues that this whole chat was bullshit. I mean, I already knew, but here she was confirming it. It took about 5 seconds to load up my browser, type in Zama Alberta in Google and be perusing the web page of the hamlet of Zama City, Alberta. Guess what… Zama is located in the northwest corner of Alberta, close to the border of NWT, not Iowa. Speaking of which, Iowa doesn’t even have a shared border with Canada and is more under the border of Manitoba and Ontario than anywhere near Alberta.
Some other fun facts about Zama…
– some 250 permanent residents and 4000 transient workers
– located in the middle of one of the largest known oil and gas fields in Alberta
Taken directly from the Zama City website…
"Okay, get out an Alberta map, you’ll need one that has that has north of Peace River on it, rev up the engine and travel approximately 85 kilometers on the Mackenzie Highway north of the town of High Level, hang a mean left and experience bush-road travel another 63 kilometers; and at the end of that road is the small hamlet of Zama City."
63kms of bush road??? Yeah… this is a very isolated community where the *entire* town works in/for the oil fields. Where I have no doubt that there might be some good looking women up there, I think there’s a higher probability that it’s mostly populated by dirty, hairy men. The number of amenities up there is rather limited (a bar, a liquor store, a laundromat, a greenhouse, a gas station and strangely, a gift shop and a catering company).
Back to what’s-her-name… When asked what she likes to do for fun, she replied (after a long pause): "I like to do the dance and visit the cinema house." Hmmm… call me silly but that doesn’t sound like the word structure of someone living in Northern Alberta. It does kind of sound like the words that come out of translator like Babel Fish though. And "cinema house"? Yeah… strange that when I pointed out a bunch of her mistakes and most likely guessed her (his?) country of origin (Nigeria), there weren’t any more messages forthcoming. :o)
Hey! How crazy is this??? I just got a phone call telling me that I won a vacation package for two that I had entered a draw for in January at the Taboo Sex Show. Three nights at the Ramada next to the gates of Disneyworld, two nights at the Ramada in Daytona Beach, 2 days at either Fort Lauderdale or some other place and a cruise. Pretty cool, eh? All I had to do was give them my Mastercard number to secure the 2 plane tickets at $199 each, plus some promotional fees. As soon as I told him that I had just canceled my credit cards to get out of debt (I haven’t, but I bluff well – just ask my poker buddies), he hung up the phone on me. Heheh. Sorry, this fish doesn’t like your bait. :o)